Je suis un ananas

Contrary to popular misconcption, the French are actually quite willing to speak English to a foriegner, expecially when she is saying nonsensical things like "Le chat sur le chaize, J'aime le chat. Ma famille, 3 chats. Je voudrez thé vert?"
Therefor, whenever I enter a restaurant and forget how to say "I would like" or don't listen correctly to the cost of a coffee ("1.4€" "Oui, d'accord; (as I sit in a chair)" "You didn't understand what I said, did you?" "No..." "That will be 1 Euro and 40c please." "Oh, of course. sorry" "did you want milk in that?" "No") the staff immediately switches to English. Likewise, whenever I ask for directions and understand "100m à gauche" but forget the word for "ok" or "I understand" I am asked to please wait while an English speaker is located.

Therefor, I have decided to enlist the help, via YouTube, of "un ananas"
I now know 4 useful phrases thanks to a daily dose of téléfrançaise, the best thing to come out of Quebec since fries and gravy:

"Tu es un ananas?"
"Je suis un ananas"
"Les ananas ne parlent pas"
"Les ananas ne dansent pas"

Thats right folks, in the event that, while in France, I am asked whether or not a pineapple can dance, I am prepared...