Où est le briquet?

Sil vous plait, passe moi le tabac
Où est le briquet?
Je ne sais pas
Le briquet sut le table?
Non. Le Briquet sur le table.

This is my first conversation. Apparently, the phrase "Où est la bibliothèque" can be modified so that I am actually asking for something useful:
"Où est la gare?" (where is the train station)
"Où sont les toilettes?" (where are the toilets?)
"Où est mon briquet?" (where the Hell did I put my lighter?)

I can now have a French conversation in the event that, while smoking cigarettes, the lighter has gone missing.

Pronunciation Guide: Do not pronounce the 't'
This has taken me 3 weeks to figure out, as my friends, while teaching me, were not actually pronouncing it correctly but were actually imitating my accent. This is really not their fault; my accent is hilarious...

Asking for the lighter Part Deux:
Like the spanish, the correct way to ask for a lighter is to ask if someone has fire; only an idiot or a non French speaker refers to it as a briquet. However, I am sentimentally attached to this phrase so I can never remember, in the correct situation, when I am usually also "bourré"
(Je suis bourré = I am drunk)
"Avez-vous le feu?"

Also: Things you can say to your friends that are rediculously easy to remember because they are the simplest phrase anyone can think of but should never be used on people on the street:
"Sil vous plait, Dun moi un cigarette"
Even if you say please first, "Give me a cigarette!" is not the best phrase to use...